My entire life, I've always second guessed myself. From test questions to life decisions, I always end up making the wrong decision. And while typically that 's probably a terrible characteristic to have, I'm the kind of person that makes the best out of everything, and therefore, it usually works out in the end. Even if the end happens to be in a jail cell.

I'm over Thomas. I realize now he was me second-guessing myself. A fling, a... not even a fling because he's just so... he's gross. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I should have. Bailey told me, Serena told me. You always choose hoes over bros, 100% of the time.

That's something I've learned over the last year. And it's also the soul reason why Bailey and Serena are no longer, and will never be again, friends. It's stupid girl drama, and in reality, they're both in the wrong so I'm over it. I'm still friends with both of them, and in truth no matter the headaches their future feuds will cause, I'll always be there for both of them.

Anthony I have finally decided is what I've always known. A fraud. He's not only an attention-seeking liar, but he's a liar. A liar. LIAR. I can't get that point clear enough. I just... I'm over him. And for the first time, I really really really really really mean it. And I'm also happy about it.

Finally, I'm not moving out to California. I'm going to try things with Jack. Yes, sweet innocent little Jack. I love him. I've always loved him and it's taken me this long to realize it. I figure I can always move out to CA later. My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I've been dreaming of a relationship with Jack. And now that the chance is finally here, I'm going to take it. Even if it doesn't work out, I won't be able to regret it in future years to come.

He makes me happy. The happiest I've been since... since I was young, naive, and still in diapers. The fact that he makes me smile with the lamest comments and the cheesiest comments makes me love him even more. He's a good kid and I need that. I need someone to clean me up. I've always said I don't need someone--some guy no less--to make me a better person, but that was pride. I know I need him. He'll improve me. He'll make me better.

And with that being said, I'm ending my stay here. I don't need this anymore. I'm not depressed, I'm not sad. I don't need to vent like I use to. I've grown up, in so many ways, and now... now I'm finally seeing what was there all along.

I'm happy.
But I promise, if things ever get rough again, I'll be right back here. Cussing out something or another.

Hopefully not until then,
forever and always,

Desiree.

Labels: Anthony, Bailey, Jack, Serena, Thomas